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Write Rubbish Repeat - A Writers Checklist Of 40 Utterly Worthless & Frighteningly Dangerous Self Publishing Guidelines

RRP $18.99

Click on the Google Preview image above to read some pages of this book!

Imagine 6 of the best authorities on self-publishing got together...

...And put together a slurry of shit that helped nobody!

A book so appalling, that to act upon even one of the strategies inside, would be to write your self-publishing career's death warrant.

Yes, with this premium guide, you too can join the legions of stupid bastards who fail to sell a single copy of their sorry excuse for a book each and every month!

Here's a small taster of the unfathomable garbage you'll be subjected to on the inside:

• Rick Smith: How to publish on CreateSpace, and then have sex with your audience... in groups if you wish!
• Matt Stone: Get noticed and sell your books to the average stupid person via social media.
• Von Money: How to steal extra money from your customers, from right inside your book!
• Derek Doepker: How to annoy, offend and completely disgust potential readers.
• Buck Flogging: Why the term "My dick disappears when I tie my shoes" could make you rich.
• Jack Offonew: How to get several idiots to write most of your book for you... for FREE!

Here! Just look at what some of the fictional reviewers that I just made up are saying about this... erm..."book."

"After over 7 decades of painstaking research into self-publishing, 41 year old Jack Offonew has finally unleashed his masterwork which was written last week by other people." - The Daily Moron

"So funny I shit my pants!" - Foulmouthed Beast Monthly

"Best book for self-publishers ever, I love re-reading it on my motorbike!" - Guy "Kawasaki" Jones

"On the outside it's just another self-publishing book, if you look deeper however you'll see that the author is slightly touched." - John the blogger

"This was acutely distressing. Those poor, poor co-authors." - Charles Manson

So, what are you waiting for?

To fall for yet another dreadful call to action and waste more money, simply scroll up & wildly click the "Buy Now" button multiple times!

A Load Of Rubbish

RRP $17.99

Click on the Google Preview image above to read some pages of this book!

"A Load of Rubbish" - Find out about all the rubbish we create, and what we do with it - all in a book without words. Then 'read' a story about something that ends up as rubbish when it shouldn't. This book is part of "Thunderbolts" a series of 24 levelled reading books, covering popular non-fiction topics. The 24 low level, full-colour titles offer progression over four levels and have particular appeal to older readers. Each book features a non-fiction section together with a fully illustrated fiction story on the same topic. "A Load of Rubbish"! is part of "Set One", the lowest level; these books have no words in them.

The Diary Of A Rubbish Witch

RRP $16.99

Click on the Google Preview image above to read some pages of this book!

Kids Diary Books age 9-12

Hi, it's Georgie Mills here again. Listen, what would you do if you had the opportunity to be away from home for an entire week? You'd jump at the chance right? Well I did. A whole week away from my parents and more importantly - my annoying sister Sophia. My school had organised a class trip that was to be full of activities and adventure. Not surprisingly, I was the first in line to hand in my consent form.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as I had expected them to. For a start, Melanie and Millicent Munchkin came and were more horrible than usual. Then there was the hotel. A crumbling building in the middle of nowhere; it wasn't surprising that talk soon turned to ghosts who roamed the corridors. I was even more freaked out when spooky things started to happen. Are ghosts real or is it just my mind playing tricks on me? There's only one way to find out

The Rubbish Witch Diaries are the magical stories of a young girl, who despite her gift, still has to deal with the daily pressures of bullies, friendship and family. Join Georgie and read how being a young witch isn't as glamourous as it sounds.

Witch books for kids just got cool!

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